If I had to give a soon-to-be or new mummy some advice, it would be to get out and find some Mummy Friends (MF). Seek them high, seek them low but definitely, definately find some! Mothers to children of a similar age who are going through the same things as you; women with older children who you can plough for advice – they’ve been there, done that, they are the pros; women with younger children than you who will look to you for advice so you can pass down the goblet of wisdom to.
But, just as importantly, don’t forget about your Non-Mummy Friends either!
Here are my reasons why;
MF are a great source of comfort and understanding. They also have had very little sleep, haven’t had a shower for a few days and yes, they too had a quick wash with the baby wipes this morning.
MF are informative. You can share little bits of wisdom with each other – what shops have sales on, what’s the best nappy cream to use etc.
MF make you feel like you are less alone because, if I’m honest sometimes being a mummy is a lonely thing. But, a 3am WhatsApp conversation with your MF who is also wide awake makes you feel much better!
MF always have baby stuff on them. You are down to your last nappy, you are miles from the nearest shop or home and baby is pulling his poo face – what do you do?! No worries, it’s fine, because your MF has a spare nappy you can use!
MF make you feel better about yourself. A bitterly honest thing to say perhaps but there’s always someone worse off. Ok so you didn’t have time to wash your hair this morning but poor Kai’s mum picked up the Nair instead of the shampoo and now she’s not going to be needing any hair products for a while.
MF like to talk about babies and will happily talk about them for hours and hours, sharing birth stories and general chit chat about the things that non-mummy friends maybe don’t want to talk about – like poo!
MF don’t mind when your child has a meltdown. They’ve been there, they know you want a big hole to open up and eat you because you are embarrassed that you can’t stop the screaming. They don’t mind, they block out the noise and carry on!
However, Non-Mummy Friends (NMF) are equally as important!
NMF keep you sane. When your days are filled with nappies and nursery rhymes, a good old chat with your NMF about everything other than babies is just what you need.
NMF remind you that you are still someone other than a mum. I think that sometimes you can lose your identity a bit as a mother because (although an utter privaledge don’t get me wrong) I am mainly known now as “Mummy” or “Jack’s Mum” and not Abbie. But to your NMF you still have a name and you are still the same person, just with a mini me in tow!
NMF get you out of the house to have “me” time. They see you need a break, a catch up and some grown up company so arrange a well needed night out which you spend weeks looking forward to.
NMF are happy to help. They’ve had a full nights sleep so don’t mind keeping an eye on baby whilst you have an uninterupted shower.
NMF also make you feel good about yourself. They are full of admiration and “don’t know how you do it all”. They are proud of you and make you feel like you are frickin’ Wonder Woman! Boo yeah!
So here’s a big cheer and a thank you to all my Mummy Friends and Non-Mummy Friends! I would be lost without you all! Xx